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“A Right Unexcercised is a Right Lost”

So says text gracing the top of a website devoted to promoting open-carry rights for guns. And you know what? I agree with them.

I, for one, am ashamed to admit that I have not been exercising all of my rights. But this laziness ends now. Starting today, I am going to exercise ALL of my rights.

What have I been neglecting? Well, for one thing, I don’t own a gun. This is mostly because I don’t really want a gun, and I have no use for a gun, but this is a matter of principle, goddammit. So, the first thing I’ll do is get me a gun. Maybe I’ll learn to hunt, because I also have the right to do that. I’m a vegetarian, though, so I’ll have to figure out what to do with the meat. Perhaps I could hand it out to friends. They would appreciate. Of course, they might get sick of having their freezers crowded by frozen moose burgers; in order to ensure that my rights are still solid, I’ll probably be hunting pretty often.

I’ve also been neglecting my right to vote. Oh, state and national elections I definitely intend to turn out; but I’ve never really cared about local politics that much. Since I’m kind impartial about local issues, I guess I’ll just fill in my ballot at random. It is my right, after all.

And come to think of it, given this bold new attitude I’m taking towards my rights, I have to admit I’m kind of glad that prop 8, which I had previously very much opposed, has passed. Otherwise I would have to marry a woman. I suppose traditional, heterosexual marriage is also considered a right, which means I’ve got to start working on my boyfriend and trying to convince him that it actually IS a good idea to get married young! This will probably lead to life-long animosity between us, and perhaps a messy divorce. But at least neither of us has to learn to like gay sex! And, more importantly, we won’t be foolishly sacrificing our rights in the name of making intelligent life decisions.

Freedom of speech is something that I have always exercised with great vigor, but I now see that I have not exercised it with nearly enough vigor. You see, I have only ever used free speech to espouse opinions which I personally hold. From now on I will exercise my free speech rights to their fullest extent, expressing all manner of controversial opinions that in other, not-so-free countries would illicit censorship or worse. All Negroes must hang!

So there you have it; my plan of action for protecting my rights. I encourage you to do the same.

Categories: Politics
  1. JDH
    • jinxedit
      November 23, 2009 at 12:38 pm


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