Home > Uncategorized > Female Orgasms; Too Scary for Film

Female Orgasms; Too Scary for Film

Call me an ignorant American, but I always envisioned Australia as a quiet, peaceful place, full of kind people with adorable accents barbecuing and frolicking among the kangaroos. Now, I have no reason for envisioning Australia this way. I know as much about Australia as Pat Robertson knows about tact. But Australia, to my mind, is in some ways the antithesis of America. It’s an unobtrusive country that doesn’t get much attention. The fact that Australia never gets any attention caused me to think, “Wow, Australians really have their shit together. Good on them!”

But two recent stories changed all that. Australia has finally done something that made bloggers bombard it with attention – and not in a good way.

First, the Telecommunications Minister of Australia, Stephen Conroy, recently announced that the government will work with internet service providers to filter ‘offensive’ content. And what is offensive content? Pretty much whatever the government decides it is. This includes things like certain types of pornography and directions on how to make explosives.

The justification for the ban is, of course, the usual ‘OH LAWDY THINK OF THE CHILDREN’. Because, as we all know, if a sweet, innocent child should accidentally catch sight of a big thick cock online, it is RUINED FOREVER AAAAH. So, you see, it’s not about censorship. It’s about defending children from pictures of penises!

Ok, I can see how seeing porn might be traumatic for a child. Porn can be rough stuff! And I don’t want kids to look at it anymore then people like Stephen Conroy do. But protection can go too far. In fact, I am willing to bet all the money in my pockets and all the money in your pockets that a reaction of discomfort and fear from a parent upon walking in to find their child has accidentally gleaned some questionable links from a google search does more damage to the child then the slip-up does in the first place. It’s time we stop teaching our children to fear sexuality, and to start using accidents such as these as a chance to teach them about good values.

Does this mean we should celebrate internet accidents as an opportunity? Certainly not. Kids don’t need to see porn! But if they do, it isn’t the apocalypse.

But now that I’ve finished my spiel on that, there’s a story that I think is even more troublesome then this, because you can’t really chalk it up to defending the children. Not only is it an example of modern sexism, but it’s pretty damn ignorant too. Australia has effectively banned films that depict women having squirting orgasms. Why, you may ask? Well, Australia also has a ban in place on pornography depicting golden showers. And apparently, according to the old, white men that generally make laws, women ejaculate urine.

Ok, first of all, it’s pretty damn troubling that a consenting adult is not allowed to watch two other consenting adults piss on each other in Australia. Is this really necessary? The only reason I can think of for this ban is that some people got grossed out by the idea of people pissing on each other and started whining. They kept it up so long that they formed a thick cloud of whine that hovered over Australia for months. The sound of their collective whining was so shrill that no one in Australia could function, so they just went ahead and banned golden showers.

If this is how the world works, than I want to ban something that I dislike too. From now on, justifying your Orwellian censorship with the used-up platitude, ‘For the children!’ is banned. Banned, I say! But I digress.

The second disturbing part of this is that if you know anything about women, or orgasms, basically if you aren’t so squeamish about vaginas that you just kind of ignore the existence of female sexuality altogether, you know that female ejaculate is NOT URINE. It’s not even yellow.

To me, this ban reveals the level of ignorance the perseveres in many societies that are considered civilized and advanced. The people who put this ban into effect can’t have done any real research, or if they did they fudged it on purpose – there is NO research done by competent scientists to suggest that female ejaculate is urine, or equivalent to urine.

So what is this really about? I’m inclined to think it’s about women and orgasms. Ten years into the twenty-first century, men in power still hold an attitude that seems more at home among stone-aged which doctors; the female orgasm is scary, perhaps even imbued with evil power, and should be hidden and ignored if at all possible.

This led me to thinking about something I think about rather a lot. Historically, people – and by people I mean men in power – have been afraid of female sexuality. This led to the denial of its existence for years. We live in happier times now, where women can wear their vaginas with pride. We’re even shedding unfortunate taboos such as the unspoken ban on female masturbation. But some people still want to sweep the existence of female sexuality under the rug. And that sucks.

But it also sucks that on the flip side of the coin, male sexuality is so trivialized. I can’t go two feet without hearing someone talk about men like they’re these horny apes that, without the reins of society and propriety, would just go marauding for pussy all day. It’s also said that men have an orgasm at the drop of a hat, and are disconnected emotionally from their sexual experiences.

What do the readers who have made it this far think? Is it worse to have your sexuality denied, or is it worse to have your sexuality simply trivialized?

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. JDH
    January 19, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    There are a number of philosophical questions about comparing suffering. Frankly I think it’s best to say both men and woman have their sexuality (and identity in general) constrained in unfair ways and leave it at that. This coming from a guy who is disgusted with his own hormones telling him to do bad things – I don’t need Axe commercials to do the same!

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